Show Me Who You Really Are

Sat, Jun 12, 2021

I am going to share a story that I had the chance to practice some things I have learned recently. I will go through the story as an example but at the end I will try to share a general structure. I believe that it will fit into most of the uncomfortable and unfortunate events. Let’s start.

It was the morning before my trip back to Brussels via Istanbul from my hometown. While I was preparing my coffee, as a multi-task person, I decided to complete check-in stuff. It did not work. No PNR found error. Oh shit. I got the same error the day before, wtf was going on. I started to feel some discomfort in my body. I checked my list of flights on flypgs.com, my flight Istanbul-Brussels was cancelled. Then my body was on fire. My muscles were getting weak. Maybe I was panicking. Lots of possibilities kept coming to mind, and I felt drowning. I had a connecting flight, it was an international flight, it was corona times. I did not like this. I was out of control. Here, the issue might be small for some and might be disastrous for others. Nevertheless, nobody would like to deal with such thing, neither my mind nor my body. Interestingly, I decided to go back to my coffee.

At this point, something completely outside my control has gone wrong. Even it was in my control, not anymore. What happened has happened. I started to get angry at Pegasus, furious, it was boiling, but then I was like hey this is not solving the issue at all. Blaming myself would not solve the issue either. Nothing was going to solve the issue, reverse it or whatever. I could beat myself up, ruin my own days and others around me. Which again surprisingly was not going to change anything either. Then wtf was I supposed to do? Adapt. I changed my focus to the request: show me who you really are. Suddenly, things started to change. I could not change anything outside, I could not control what is outside. However, I could change and control what is inside. I enjoyed rest of my coffee, music, and view, and morning breeze.

I called Pegasus. The lady on the line, Kubra, was nice, I was nice to her as well. Whatever it was, it was not her fault. She told me that they could not reach me on mobile when they tried to inform me about this. They could use sms or email as well, right? Again, that was not solving the issue. I already had the plan while enjoying my coffee, made the change to next day flight. This put me in a place of lots of uncertainties and changes. Also, opportunities. I was going to spend a day in Istanbul.

It turned out that they actually called me a few times with a number starting 0850, I recall rejecting such calls a few times. I thought they were some telecom and banking companies calling for their campaigns. This also says that sometimes you get early warnings, but you ignore.

This is what happened after the change:

• Transportation, hotel, meals, luggage handled by Pegasus
• My hotel was close to a colleague from YKB, so I had an opportunity to see him
• Arranged to see my recent online friend, face-to-face for the first time.
• Enjoyed my rest between two flights in a nice shower and bed.
• Enjoyed this beautiful scenery

Then you start to see that when you go with it, everything else flows with it:

• Was it a coincidence that this hotel was close to my friend?
• Was it a coincidence that the guy let me go on using Marmaray? I had issues with Istanbulkart-corona configuration. If he would not let me, I was late to my meeting.
• Was it a coincidence that Istanbul was almost empty on Sunday? I hate its crowd and there was corona-restrictions on going out on Sunday.

Eventually, as we can see now, what started as a disaster turned out to be a festival. When the disaster starts, it is not really easy to see what will be on the other end. If you do not adapt, it stays as disaster. If you adapt, it becomes a festival. It becomes life itself.

It is also important to realize that when shit happens, and you let it control you, you double the disaster. That is the exact point you answer the question. That is the exact and only point you have full control. That is the exact point either you die or live. That is the exact point either you are a warrior or a victim. That is the exact point you understand changing yourself is changing the world around you. This is exact point you understand how powerless and at the same time how powerful you are.

So the structure goes like this:

• something uncomfortable happens at any moment
• this is the step
  • this is where you have control
  • this is where you shine
  • this is where magic happens
  • this is where you see who you really are
• life continues, as a disaster or a festival

I am grateful for Pegasus putting me into this test. Whatever was their reason for the change, right or wrong. I do not care. I am just grateful for Pegasus for challenging me to see who I really am in that situation.

Pegasus is sometimes a serious illness, or a serious accident, or a serious financial loss, or a natural disaster, or a missed bus/flight, or a failed exam, or a failed interview, or a burned meal, or a lying/cheating person, or a person dumping you. Wherever, whenever, whichever form it has, the test will always be the same with different intensity. You will not be though. That is the beauty of it.

I decided to write this blog post right before finishing that same coffee, how great that is when you trust the process but not the result.