what a pointless

How many books, movies, songs,
How many families, friends, lovers,
How many cities, countries, continents,
How many schools, universities, companies,
How many philosophers, psychologists,
How many gurus, scientists, prophets,
Are going to tell me who I am?
What a pointless expectation,

I thought I knew how it felt
When I knew the answer,
I am not even so sure of that anymore,
I don’t know the answer,
I don’t have a way to check the answer,
What a pointless endeavour,

I am nothing,
How scary that is,
I can be anything,
How liberating that is,
I can become anything,
How paralysing that is,
What a pointless paradox,

The answer is not in the box,
That scary is outside the box,
Waiting is not taking me outside,
Their answers are inside the box,
I feel so scared to leave the box,
I feel so powerless,
I feel so lonely,
I feel so doubtful,
I feel so stupid outside the box,
What a pointless fantasy,

That’s who I am outside,
When I am still boxed,
What a pointless assumption.
I do not know the answer or the feeling,
When I am outside the cave,
What a pointless stay.