Stillness

Imagine a stillness.
The world stops.
The whole universe stops.
Wind stops.

Seni Nasıl Sevebilirim?

Hoş geldin, baba.
Ateşten kaçmışsın.
Sırtındaki ateşten.
Yanıma oturabilirsin.

Gelme Bana

Gelme bana.
Yol değilim.
Yoldayım ben de.

I Love My Job Again

I am drunk again most recently.
This time from drinking too much AI.

Sıcak Oda

Bir evin içindeyim. Dışarısı soğuk. Kar yağmıyor, ama soğuk. Kışın başlangıcı belki. Dışarıda bulunmak istemeyeceğin bir soğuk. Evin içi sıcak. Dışarıda hiç kimse yok. Soğuk, tek başına. Isıtılamıyor. Bütün sesi güneş çıkarıyordu sanki. Ağaçlar yapraksız, sokaklar insansız bir şekilde zaman duruyor.

he

he is here.
where nowhere is.

Acı

Bir odaya giriyorum.
İki kişi var.
Adlarını bilmiyorum.
Acılarını biliyorum.

Özledim Seni

Seni özledim.
Seni özledim baba.
Zehirim ve ilacım gibisin.
Gelmiyorsun, gitmiyorsun da.
Sevmiyorsun, sevdirmiyorsun da.

Hani Neredesin?

Bir futbol maçı izliyordu.
Oyunculardan birindeydi dikkati.
Diğerleri ona faul yapıyorlardı.

İstiklal Marşı'm

Ara ara aklıma İstiklal Marşı’nın şu satırı gelir: hangi çılgın bana zincir vuracakmış! şaşarım. Güçlü hissetmeye ihtiyacım olduğunda veya güçlü hissettiğimde bir ışık gibi yanar zihnimde. Son zamanlarda başka bir satır daha canlanmaya başladı: yurdumu alçaklara uğratma sakın. Diğer satırları hatırlamaya çalıştım, uzun yıllar oldu okumalı, unutmuşum. Ancak bu sabah bir daha satır satır okumak istedim. Bana görünmek isteyen bir şey vardı sanki.

Invitations

I am sitting on the balcony this morning, enjoying coffee — from pot to white mug.
It tastes like coffee.

Another Morning

It is not just another morning, it is just a morning. Is it even? Morning. What is it? Words are thieves. They steal what is.

Abraham and the Buddha

I would like to read Abraham’s story in the light of the Buddha’s teaching, and I would like to understand the Buddha’s teaching in the light of Abraham’s story. I will also sprinkle a bit of Western philosophy. I am not well-educated or deeply researched on any of these topics, and I do not want to say anything offensive. I simply want to scratch an itch of mine. Let’s see how this goes.

Transitions

It was Friday afternoon, and I was struggling with a technical issue. There wasn’t an apparent error in the execution of the code, but it was not producing the expected result. I spent hours debugging the problem, and by the end of the workday, there was still no solution. I decided to stop working on it and continue on Monday.

One-Time Recipes

Over the last few years, and especially recently, I’ve found myself cooking more and more what I call one-time recipes. These recipes nourish me in ways that go beyond simply satisfying hunger, and I’d like to share their story.

Conflict Analysis Framework

There have been many moments in my life when I found myself fighting on multiple fronts—family, romance, work, school, and friendships. My best strategies were to retreat, attack, move away, or cut off contact completely. I was patient in some ways. I would wait long enough, stay silent long enough until the air could no longer fit in the balloon.

The Resolutions

I think it is something naturally built in us that, when we reach an end, we look at the past. They are always stops between two points. So, I looked at the past at many different ends, and here is what I saw.

The Iron Ball

He had an answer. His mind was not split anymore. Finally, he had a good night’s sleep. He woke up alone. He was in someone else’s bed, in a stranger’s house. He made the bed—the half that he used. As he walked out, he saw that his picture, which was once in the room, had been removed.

A Podcast Project

I was back from my usual morning walk. I don’t know exactly when my mind started cooking this idea. I only got to know when it was ready to eat. After I got back home, I said:

Karanlık

Karanlık olsun istiyordu. Zifiri karanlık. Gözlerinin açık mı kapalı mı olduğunu bilmeyecek kadar karanlık olsun istiyordu. Küçücük odası zaten az ışık alıyordu. O ışık, onu bir çözüm bulmaya zorladı ve aylar sonra gözünün önündeki cevabı o çatlaklar sayesinde gördü. İstediği karanlığa sonunda kavuşmuştu.

Three plus One

Teens to twenties

I managed to have my parents buy the first computer in high school. In addition to usual stuff, I met rap music, hacking, and programming for the first time by myself. That took me down a rabbit hole, making me realize what I am capable of doing just myself. It was one of the first of many rabbit holes to come.

Done In Sia

I am just back from a 21-days-long trip to Indonesia with a group. I found the package on joker.be. Traveling outside of Europe was one of my 5 goals when I moved to Belgium. I am happy to see that it happened. Let’s see how that turned out.

Freedom in Prison

Who is a free human?
What is a prison?
What is freedom to a baby born into a prison?

The Crying Baby

I feel fearless today. I would like to take a random flight. My thoughts flow as fast as the plane, and I am already in the air cruising. I have a couple sitting in the front row, with their lovely baby. An angel. While I enjoy entertaining the possibilities of a plane crush, the angel baby becomes a crying baby.

Mountain and River

What does a mountain do? Stays still. What does a river do? Flows. Would it be possible to confuse a mountain with a river? Would it make any sense to treat a river as a mountain? How much of an effort would it be to ask a mountain to flow like a river? How much of an effort would it be to ask a river to stay still like a mountain?

Solving the Wrong Problem

In a professional setting or personal life, we face problems every day. We ignore problems, see problems, and sometimes solve problems. Ignoring problems is the easiest way to hell. Let’s start from the step that we have a problem that we are aware of, for the sake of the discussion. Recognizing problems is an art of itself, I would simply say. The question here is that if the problem,

Üç Şarkılık Yolum

Kulaklığı taktım, çantayı omzuma attım, kapıyı kapıtıp çıkıyorum. Yurdun çıkışına doğru yürürken koridordaki boy aynasında kendime bakıyorum. Eh fena değilim. Hemen onun üstünde 08:45 olan digital saate bakıyorum. Geç kalmamışım tam zamanında. Anahtarı resepsiyona bırakıp çıkıyorum.